Plymouth Magazine-Summer26-DIGITAL - Flipbook - Page 10
JUDAS
By Sarah Anne Sutter
I'll spoil the ending.
It was me that called State:
heart racing,
an animal fighting to find any other way out,
cornered by what I knew was wrong.
Disgruntled that each month I stood in front of people I
cared about,
as they expressed concerns about their home.
“I will bring these to [redacted]. Thank you for sharing,” I said,
fully cognizant of the fact nothing would be done.
It was me that called State:
the cardinal sin.
There is only excommunication for me now.
And the resulting report?
I got a letter in the mail eight months later.
An investigation had found my claim unfounded.
Disgruntled when I saw those same people
stop bringing concerns,
because they knew I was impotent,
and they respected me too much
to ask me to lie to them again.
I was disgruntled, you see, a disgruntled employee.
When you speak of me,
if you speak of me,
it will be as a cautionary tale.
That the fault lies with me alone.
I was disgruntled
that my passionate, bright colleagues
were targeted until they self-imploded;
their compassion turned to darkness,
like failed supernovas.
Disgruntled it was never addressed
CNAs were consumed by Candy Crush,
as call lights blinked for an hour,
residents soiling themselves,
developing fi ery sores that would kill them in the end.
Disgruntled by the worrisome cough
I developed from the black mold,
that permeated the campus,
like the water stained ceilings.
A home scarred by unmet needs.
Disgruntled that these scarred places must endure.
Often the only choice
for those who no longer produce,
or did not produce enough,
or were simply unlucky.
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Disgruntled that the priest refused last rites
to lifelong Catholics with COVID,
let alone the Lutherans.
Disgruntled that a resident who needed assistance to eat
was left alone at the table,
with a plate of food in front of them,
until the end of the meal,
when the untouched food was returned to the kitchen
and thrown out.
So now you know.
I was your Judas.
I called State.
And I am still disgruntled.
That State was a toothless bite.
That you continue to take the sacred task,
of caring for those at the juncture of realms,
and defile it.
